Bill Bryson’s book, The Mother Tongue – English and how it got that way, has caused me to have a newfound respect for my high school English teacher, editors, and other purveyors of this unwieldy language. English is the most widespread language, and it draws its roots from countless other languages, thus accounting for the blatant spelling and pronunciation discrepancies that confound foreign and native tongues alike. The rules of our language are largely disputed and constantly in flux, although not for lack of trying of the part of some important linguistic fellows. One, Noah Webster, created what became one of the most widely distributed dictionaries, and was largely regarded as a uptight, humorless and staunchy ass (arse if you lived a couple hundred years ago). He fought and loss for things, like the ingredients of a bread bowl to be spelled “soop and bred.” Then there was W.C. Minor, one of the largest contributors to the Oxford English Dictionary who did all of his work from his residence inside an insane asylum. Obviously cataloging all of the English language is not a task for the socially blessed.

Root of “O.K.”
One of the most common expressions in all the English language and most obvious “Americanism” is O.K. There are three theories as to its roots.
1. It stands for some important person’s initials such as Indian Chief “Old Keokuk,” or Martin Van Buren’s nickname “Old Kinderhook,” and was stamped as a mark of their approval and thus, quality.

2. It formed from the roots of some English dialect such as the Finnish “oikea” or the Choctaw “okeh” (Woodrow Wilson was a big proponent of this theory).
3. It is a shortened version of the old expression “oll korrect,” spelled by semi-literate President Andrew Jackson. If this is the case it may have a long lost partner in O.W. for “oll wright.”

Swearing
It hard to believe, but in 19th century England “puppy” and “cad” were risque (a French word from risquer, to risk) but “shit” (formely scitan, then shite) was acceptable. In most languages one of the biggest insults you can throw at another human being was to directly accuse your target of incest. Hence the “tu madre” or “your mama” expression. Cut someone off in traffic in Germany and you may be called a “schweinehund” (pigdog); aggravate a Finnish lad and he may cry “ravintolassa” (meaning in the restaurant). I would go into the history of the word, f*ck but it is not appropriate here, maybe in another hundred years.

Rhyming
On a final note, the book discussed wordplay and in particular, different forms of rhyme. They gave the example of the Burma-Shave ads of the 1920s that used rhyme to tell quick stories about men using their product. Their rhymes were broken up across many freeway billboards so you read one part of the phrase at a time as you drove. An example, “A peach looks good with lots of fuzz, but a man’s no peach and never was.” Or “If wife shuns your fond embrace, don’t shoot the iceman, feel your face.” I love the simplicity, the wit, the rhyme such is a reflection of its time. I am now trying to think up little rhyming quips for my clients. What rhymes with Sports Rejuvenation with Active MSM? «